News: Amelia Practice December 12th, 1998
In a world where public debate is often loud, divisive, and dehumanizing, our Unitarian Universalist congregation is called to model a better way: one rooted in dignity, compassion, and civil discourse. First Church’s Covenantal Intent calls on us “to dwell together in peace” by expressing our ideas respectfully and kindly, and to be mindful and responsible for the way our words and actions affect others. In recent months, some interactions within our congregation have not fully reflected these commitments, causing hurt and misunderstanding.
In this time of increasing division and conflict, it's more important than ever we join together in creating a safe, welcoming, and inclusive spiritual home. Our Safe Congregation Policy (SCP) affirms this commitment by setting expectations for respectful communication and behavior in all areas of congregational life—whether during worship, in meetings, over email, or in personal conversation.
Summarized briefly, at First Church we agree to norms that reflect our shared values:
- Speak honestly, with kindness and care.
- Listen to understand, not just to respond.
- Address issues directly, with the person involved, when possible.
- Refrain from gossip or negativity about others.
- Assume goodwill and seek common ground.
- Apologize when we cause harm and work to make amends.
- Be kind when others make mistakes.
Our SCP especially cautions against using email or social media to process strong emotions or conduct heated discussions. Difficult conversations are best held in person or with a trusted facilitator present. Written words, especially without tone or context, can escalate conflict rather than resolve it.
Addressing Concerns Constructively
When conflict or concerns arise, our first step should be direct, respectful conversation with the person involved. If that’s not possible or doesn’t lead to resolution, members are encouraged to reach out to the Healthy Communications Team (HCT). We are here to listen, direct concerns to the appropriate Church official or staff, offer support, and help facilitate restorative conversations when needed.
This process is intended to seek understanding, accountability, and healing and in so doing, keep our community strong.
A Spiritual Practice
Practicing civil discourse is more than a policy requirement—it is spiritual work. It means staying curious when we disagree, seeking connection over correction, and holding fast to our shared values even in difficult moments.
Let us recommit to being a community where all voices are honored, where conflict is met with courage and compassion, and where our words and actions reflect the beloved community we seek to build.
With love,
David Wurdlow
Chair, Healthy Communications Team
The Safe Congregation Policy may be viewed on the FUUCH website, under Governance, or see the direct link below. The HCT maintains a table at Church each Sunday and can also be reached directly via email at hct@firstuu.org.
Safe Congregation Policy
